If you've followed my blog or know me personally then you know that I am a very large woman. I've included a recent picture of myself (that's me with my brother) so you can see for yourself what I'm contending with.
At the beginning of the year, I decided to 'come out' and declare to the world - or at least the world of my readers -that I was going to face my morbid obesity head-on. I had done this before but not in the healthy manner that I am doing now. (10 years ago I lost 165 pounds by following a very strict, low calorie vegetarian diet* only to spiral into clinical depression. My body chemistry was so screwed up it took alot of doctors/ counselors to put me back together again. Unfortunately, the weight came back on too.)
But this time it is very different. Although I've only lost 17 pounds in the last 4 months, I feel like I'm doing things the right way. I've learned alot about myself in these last 16 weeks and made alot of lifestyle changes. For example, I'm going for a walk most weekdays on my lunch break and am up to 2.5 miles a day (I used to be winded just walking into work from the parking lot); I'm staying away from white flour and sugar; I'm eating lighter the next day if I ate heavier the day before, and I'm doing the Wii Fit a couple of times a week.
All of the above feels like I'm making genuine progress instead of my usual mentality of "I'm gonna brace myself and suffer on this diet till I reach my goal and then go eat a bannana split."
And indeed it is.
I think the progress is happening because my motivation for doing it is different. When I lost over 100 pounds before, I did it because I was very sick and needed to get the weight off fast in order get well. So fear was a big part of the picture, ie, I didn't want to die.
But this time I'm working at losing the weight because I want to grow in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I want to learn to lean on Him when I'm anxious or stressed instead of turning to food and self-medicating. And certainly I want to look and feel better. But what keeps me moving forward is that I realize that every time I set aside the late night binge or other over-the-top indulgences, I am choosing to trust Christ more.
And for me, that is what life is all about!
"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us," (Hebrews 12:1)
*Vegetarian diets that are followed properly and well balanced are terrific. The diet I followed at the time was neither.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Respecting Another's Faith
I have Christian friends, Budist friends, Catholic friends, Islamic friends and even some atheist friends. This in and of itself is not anything specatcular. Lots of people have friends of different faiths and cultures. I've always enjoyed my diverse group of friends and feel challenged to be the best example of Christ to them that I can be. And, I've always tried very hard to respect their varying beliefs.
But recently I've found myself in conversations with some of my non-christian friends where my 'respecting' felt more like agreeing. And this made me uncomfortable.
For example, today one of my friends was all agog that they had been given an impression of Jesus on a rose petal that 'miraculously' appeared when they were at a conference. Evidently there is a man named Carmelo Cortez who is 'supernaturally' used by God to pull petals off of fresh roses, dip them in some kind of colored water, and then 'miraculously' divine impressions appear.
As my friend showed her 'holy rose petal' to others many ooed and ahhed and were clearly mesmerized by the 'power of the petal miracle'.
And since, many in my circle of influence look to me for prayer and encouragement they just assumed I would be equally enthusiastic.
But I wasn't.
Instead, I listened intently to my friends glowing explanation of what took place at the convention where the 'Rose Petal Miracle' occured. Then I said "I'm really happy for you" and "What a neat memento for you to have" but I stopped short of declaring it a supernatural phenomenon.
As I walked away from the 'Rose Petal Group' I was overwhelmed with sadness because my friends were easily taken in by what I felt was a hoax.
How could I have prayed so much for them and still they don't see Jesus for who He really is? I mused to myself.
But I didn't say anything. The truth is I wasn't sure what to say. I felt a strong urge to declare truth as I see it, but also realized it was important that I respect their right to choose to believe the rose petal image was straight from heaven.
So for now I've decided that I will pray for truth to be revealed to them. And I will write truth as I feel inspired to do so. (see my SIDENOTE explanation below) And I will keep on being their friend and keep on loving them.
Should I say more to them? I don't know. I'm still grappling with this question. What do you do when you come face-to-face with what you believe is a false belief? What did Jesus do? These are the questions I'm still seeking answers to.
I sure hope some of my readers take time to give feedback. This is one time I really need your insight....
SIDENOTE:The point of this particular post isn't to debate the legitimacy of flashy so-called miracle workers. But because I believe the Bible is our ultimate guide I think it's important to point out that Jesus himself warned us about people who use outlandish tactics to draw a crowd presumably in the name of Christ:
"For false Christs and false prophets will arise, and they will show great signs and wonders so as to deceive and lead astray, if possible, even the elect (God's chosen ones)." (Matthew 24:24)
At least it's something to think about....
But recently I've found myself in conversations with some of my non-christian friends where my 'respecting' felt more like agreeing. And this made me uncomfortable.
For example, today one of my friends was all agog that they had been given an impression of Jesus on a rose petal that 'miraculously' appeared when they were at a conference. Evidently there is a man named Carmelo Cortez who is 'supernaturally' used by God to pull petals off of fresh roses, dip them in some kind of colored water, and then 'miraculously' divine impressions appear.
As my friend showed her 'holy rose petal' to others many ooed and ahhed and were clearly mesmerized by the 'power of the petal miracle'.
And since, many in my circle of influence look to me for prayer and encouragement they just assumed I would be equally enthusiastic.
But I wasn't.
Instead, I listened intently to my friends glowing explanation of what took place at the convention where the 'Rose Petal Miracle' occured. Then I said "I'm really happy for you" and "What a neat memento for you to have" but I stopped short of declaring it a supernatural phenomenon.
As I walked away from the 'Rose Petal Group' I was overwhelmed with sadness because my friends were easily taken in by what I felt was a hoax.
How could I have prayed so much for them and still they don't see Jesus for who He really is? I mused to myself.
But I didn't say anything. The truth is I wasn't sure what to say. I felt a strong urge to declare truth as I see it, but also realized it was important that I respect their right to choose to believe the rose petal image was straight from heaven.
So for now I've decided that I will pray for truth to be revealed to them. And I will write truth as I feel inspired to do so. (see my SIDENOTE explanation below) And I will keep on being their friend and keep on loving them.
Should I say more to them? I don't know. I'm still grappling with this question. What do you do when you come face-to-face with what you believe is a false belief? What did Jesus do? These are the questions I'm still seeking answers to.
I sure hope some of my readers take time to give feedback. This is one time I really need your insight....
SIDENOTE:The point of this particular post isn't to debate the legitimacy of flashy so-called miracle workers. But because I believe the Bible is our ultimate guide I think it's important to point out that Jesus himself warned us about people who use outlandish tactics to draw a crowd presumably in the name of Christ:
"For false Christs and false prophets will arise, and they will show great signs and wonders so as to deceive and lead astray, if possible, even the elect (God's chosen ones)." (Matthew 24:24)
At least it's something to think about....
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Light Enhancement

Maybe part of what touches me about Vlatka's photos is that they transform the ordinary into something extraordinary. Vlatka has an eye for this.
I on the other hand, do not.
For example, recently, Vlatka and I went on a walk while I was on my lunch break. (What a friend she is huh? She came to meet me on my lunch hour just to walk with me!) As we walked, I was focused on chatting and well... walking.
But not Vlatka. She was enthralled with potential photo opportunities that kept presenting themselves. At first, I was a little put off because I wanted to get my 2 mile walk in, but that feeling quickly disapaited as I began to see things through Vlatka's eyes.
Take this tree branch for example:

I had passed this tree branch every day on my walking route and didn't think much of it, except that I wondered when the people were going to have it removed and I thought it looked kinda cool.
But Vlatka, looked at it and saw great potential.
Or this shot she also took on our walking route:
All I saw was a sticky tree. But Vlatka saw a visual message that could prick the hearts of others.
When Vlatka started emailing me her pictures with the scriptures on them, I was amazed. I asked her how she managed to do such incredible work with such a simple camera. "It's not the camera so much as the light" she responded. Then she explained to me how she had taken a s photography class about the importance of proper lighting.
As we chatted about lighting and shadows and how to capture great pictures, we realized it wasn't the camera. It wasn't the tree, or flower or whatever, and it wasn't even the photographer that made the difference. (I could have used her camera and taken the same pictures, but without the knowledge of the effects of light enhancement, the results would have been dramatically different.) It was the LIGHT and the KNOWLEDGE OF THE LIGHT that transformed a simple picture into a work of art.
And that's when it hit both of us, that it's the same when Jesus Christ sheds his light on us. It is when we have the knowledge of Him as the light of the world that transformation begins. Until then, we are just ordinary, balls of dirt that are not special at all. But when He shines His light on us we are transformed, illuminated, and beautiful!! Our worth, our value, our purpose are only fully realized when Jesus Christ fills us with his spirit. Because it is then that His light can fully shine through us.
"All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men.And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not." (John 1:3-5)
"Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." (John 8:12)
Monday, April 12, 2010
Monday Musings
Well, it's the start of another week, and although I had a glorious weekend, I'm definately feeling a little fuzzy this morning. Monday's offer the chance for new beginnings and fresh starts. So why are they often associated with dread and an extra cup of coffee?
It could be facing the weight of the week's responsibilities. Or it could be tiredness from the weekend. But more times than not, it's flipping that imaginary switch in my brain from weekend mode, to work mode.
So my prayer this morning is: "God, please transition my mind, heart, will and emotions to my responsibilities at work.Empower me to be an employee that you can be proud of. Remind me moment by moment that your holy word says 'I am an epistle, known and read of all men.'(2 Corinthians 3:4) So the reality is that I am always on display as your representative. Please Lord, protect my witness, infuse me with your joy, and help me to project your love no matter how fuzzy my brain may feel. In Jesus name. Amen"
So now, I'm going to make myself a nice warm cup of green tea and get crackin. Cause 'this is the day that the Lord hath made and I will rejoice and be glad in it!'
It could be facing the weight of the week's responsibilities. Or it could be tiredness from the weekend. But more times than not, it's flipping that imaginary switch in my brain from weekend mode, to work mode.
So my prayer this morning is: "God, please transition my mind, heart, will and emotions to my responsibilities at work.Empower me to be an employee that you can be proud of. Remind me moment by moment that your holy word says 'I am an epistle, known and read of all men.'(2 Corinthians 3:4) So the reality is that I am always on display as your representative. Please Lord, protect my witness, infuse me with your joy, and help me to project your love no matter how fuzzy my brain may feel. In Jesus name. Amen"
So now, I'm going to make myself a nice warm cup of green tea and get crackin. Cause 'this is the day that the Lord hath made and I will rejoice and be glad in it!'
Monday, April 5, 2010
Jewish Jim
I just had an interesting conversation with a co-worker of mine, Jim*. We were sharing what we did to celebrate Easter this past weekend and he mentioned he made Matzo Balls for his family. "Are you Jewish?" I gushed. "Yes, I am" he replied. I asked to shake his hand and told him how honored I was to know personally one of God's favorites. He knodded his head sheepishly, and so I went on about how as a Gentile, I have such respect for the Jews and their special relationship with God. He seemed eager to discontinue to conversation and finally blurted out "I"m not a practicing Jew and my wife is Catholic and neither one of us go to church!" I responded with "Well, still it's an honor to know you my friend." Then we changed the subject.
In reflecting on our exchange, a sadness came over me as I realized he has no idea of his true heritage. He's a prince, the son of the King, and he's living as a pauper. And then that scripture, "and such were some of you" washed over my mind.
And so my prayer this morning is:
"Oh Gracious, loving Father of All, thank-you for giving the gentiles a chance in this world. But thank-you more for allowing me to understand who I am in You. Please awaken all those around me to the reality of their royal heritage - especially my friend Jim.Amen."
Scriptures For Further Study: Roman 11:16-18; 1 Peter 2:9; Romans 2:9-11
*Not his real name
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