Obedient Faith

I took a couple of days off of work this week because initially I was going to attend a writer's conference. But, as the time for the conference grew closer, my spirit was unsettled. I felt no direction or confirmation from God. Now normally, I feel a deep peace or a clear impression of how to prepare for such an event.  But I felt nothing. No peace. No inkling of what editors to seek out, what classes to take, or which articles I've written to bring with me.

The silence was deafening. And frustrating.

My first inclination was to talk to all my friends about it, ie, 'what do you think I should do?' But, I've learned from past experience that the more opinions I seek, the more confused I   get. So instead, I discussed it with my husband, and we ultimately decided that I'd attend one day of the four day conference.

We made this decision in part because money is a little tight, but also because neither one of us had a sense that this was something God had for me at this time.

But even after we agreed I'd attend the one day I still felt uneasy, unsure, and not excited at all. This type of response was  so out of character for me. Normally the idea of attending such a conference would have had me pinging off the walls with anticpation.

But I wasn't. Instead, I felt anxious and frustrated.

Anxious because I wasn't sensing God's blessing in my decision . And frustrated because God wasn't telling me how to prepare for the one day I planned to attend.

So in the end I chose not to go. Why? For three reasons:

• Because I've learned from past experience that when I push my way for something it never turns out the way I expected it to.

• Because I don't want to attempt anything without feeling God's pleasure, anointing, and favor.

• Because my grandfather always said "If there's a reason to doubt it, there's a reason not to do it."

Pretty good guidelines for making alot of decisions I think. Don't you?

Now, I'm sure when I meet with my writer's critique group this month, and they all tell me about the great things that happened for them at the writer's conference I might feel a twinge of jealousy. But ultimately, I'll be able to rejoice with them for God's goodness to them. And I'll smile to myself knowing that :

"What He does now, I don't know, but someday I will!" (John 13:37)

Sound Advice

Sometimes I come across someone else's post or newsletter that so inspires me I want to share it with all of you. Such is the case today.

I met Cec Murphey a few years ago at writer's conference and found him to be a very genuine, kind, humble individual. And since I already liked his writing, I decided to sign up for his email newsletters.

Each month, Cec Murphey's newsletters grace my inbox. And each month, I look forward to reading them because they always resonate with me, and often speak directly to some issue in my own life I'm dealing with.

For example,  I was telling my husband how overloaded I was starting to feel by being the listening ear to so many different friends. It's not that I don't care, I told him, but so often I feel depleted afterwards like there's not another worthy thought in my brain to offer up.

But after I read Cec Murphey's Newsletter today, the answer to my dilema became clear. Cec says:

"My role is not to solve others' problems;my role is to love them while they solve their problems."

That was it! That was the advice I was looking for! Just because I am a leader, a writer, and a speaker does not mean I need to be able to offer detailed solutions to my friend's problems. Instead, my job - my role - as  Cec puts it, is to continually point them back to the One who has all the answers:
 JESUS CHRIST.

The Apostle Paul gave similar advice in James 1: 4-8. He said:

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open. "

And so, from now on, when I talk with friends in need, I will offer very little advice. Instead, I will pray with them and keep pointing them back to Jesus Christ, the one who knows all, sees all and understands all - Thanks Cec for reminding me of this important insight!

WEDNESDAY WEIGH-IN: Truth

If you've been following my blog you know that on Wednesdays I post about my weight issues. I started in January of 2010 by posting my wedding picture and proclaiming this was going to be the year that I lost over 100 pounds. Well, here it is 6 months later and I've shed only 20 (pounds). But, I have to admit I have grown more in the last 6 months with regards to my self-image and self-awareness than I ever did during my countless other attempts to lose weight - even when I lost 165 pounds 10 years ago.

So what is the difference?

TRUTH.

Yep, that's it, simple unadulterated TRUTH. For the first time in my recollection I am approaching this baggage called excess weight with the rose colored glasses off. I am facing the TRUTH in the following ways:

• By acknowledging the reality of my girth. 
•  Making conscious note of my dress size.
• Coming to terms with the difficulty of fitting into an airline seat or a booth at a restaurant. 

• By examing what is driving my overeating.  
• Is it anxiety?
• Fear?
• Childhood Trauma?
• Or am I just undiscliplined and enjoy indulging?

• By weighing myself and coming to terms with the number on the scale. (Geneen Roth and others do not recommend this, but for me it is keeping me from deception)

• by sharing my struggle with others.
• With YOU my reader.
• With a few close friends.
• With my family.

I believe that by consistently facing the above truths the stranglehold of obesity will one day lose it's hold on me.

Geneen Roth, in her book Women, Food and God says:

 "Truth, not force, does the work of ending compulsive eating."

And of course she's right because the Bible, our ultimate book of validity says:

"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32)

So for today and in the days to come, I continue to press on towards truth knowing that ultimately it will make me free!

Encouraging Yourself

I'm sitting here staring at the blank screen trying to muster up something refreshing and brilliant to say that will encourage and uplift. But the truth is I'm sleepy and feel like I have about as much to offer today as a dry well in a sandstorm. But then I realize that this too is part of living every day with Jesus.

So what does one do when you feel this way?

I remind myself of all the things  God has done for me. And I quote scripture or sing worship songs. It's amazing how much this helps. The Bible confirms this in Colossians 3:15-17 because it says:

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."

Keeping a Gratitude Journal is another way to give yourself a spiritual uplift. I haven't done this consistently, but the times I have done it have always made a big difference. The idea is to write down what your thankful for that happened each day. Then, when you are having a down day you review what you wrote and thank God for it. This too has a Biblical foundation because I Thessalonians 5:17 says

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

So, my dear readers who I value so much. Tell me what you do to encourage yourself. I'd really like to know....

Showers & Jacuzzis

There's something very special about early morning prayer. It's a time of quietness and self-reflection.

 On work days, I normally get up by 5am so I can read my Bible as I drink my coffee. By 5:45am I'm usually praying and then start getting dressed  by 6:30am, so I can be out the door by 7am. This morning routine grounds my day and helps me to cope with whatever awaits me. But it's alot like taking a shower: It's brief, but thorough, and it gets the job done.

But on days like today - a day when I'm off work (little happy dance here) I have the luxury of soaking in God's presence like some people soak in a Jacuzzi:

I linger. 

I relax.

I lose all track of time. 

I embrace the whole experience.

And when I'm done, I feel as if I've been treated to the deepest of indulgences.
My soul is refreshed, my spirit feels like a feather, and all seems right with the world.

But as much as I enjoy Jacuzzi Prayers, I often settle for Shower Prayers because life's pressures pile up, and there never seems to be enough hours in the day.

The Apostle Paul knew about Shower Prayers because he instructed the Thessalonian church to "Pray without ceasing". This is not a feasible instruction unless one puts it in the context of maintaining a prayerful attitude while going about one's work etc.

And Jesus himself exampled Jacuzzi Prayers because  Mark 1:35 records:

"And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed."

So we can conclude from these passages that both types of prayers are Biblical and therefore accepted by God. And we can also conclude from these passages and others like them that different needs call for different types prayers. For example, the Jacuzzi Prayer that Jesus prayed in the book of Mark was leading up to the greatest test of his life - the Crucifixion. In other words, desperate times called for desperate measures.

But sometimes, Jacuzzi Prayers are enjoyed just because you love the Lord and want to bask in His presence. Such was the case with me today. And the good news is that no matter what else unfolds for me this weekend, I will enjoy it more and be able to handle it better because my entire being was deeply refreshed by the living God because I lingered in His presence.

WEDNESDAY WEIGH-IN: Excuses

It's Wednesday and I started the year by promising to blog about my weight loss journey. It's getting difficult to follow through with this promise because I am waffling in general with my food and exercise. The excuses are getting easier and easier. Last week, my excuse was "it's been a bad week emotionally for me as a family member passed away." Now this week my excuse is "it was Memorial Day weekend and we did alot of entertaining."

The good thing about my blog commitment is that the weekly postings are forcing me to take a hard look at my habits and weaknesses. My hope is that the honesty and accountability will pull me through. Plus, I am doing some things to try to feed my inner self in an effort to change my thought processes which is where I believe the core of my weight issue is - in the mind.

Some of things I've been doing are:

• Continuing to seek the Lord's help with this struggle by sincerely praying about it.
• Meditating on Bible verses to try to soak my spirit in God's opinion instead of my own.
• Watching the Biggest Loser episodes online.
• Reading books that strike a chord with me such as Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth.
• Keeping myself honest by weighing in each week and sharing my weight with two or three trusted friends. (I skipped the weigh in last week but will face it today)
• Tracking my food online on the free Livestrong Daily Plate

And my heartfelt hope and prayer is that all of the above will help me not only reach my weight loss goal, but grow and be transformed in my thoughts and personal outlooks.

On my own, I cannot do this. The amount I have to lose is too overwhelming. But through Christ and the love and support of others I believe I can overcome this.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
-Philippians 4:13

Christ's Occupation

Max Lucado puts best what is on my heart today:

"When you say, 'Thy kingdom come', you are inviting the Messiah himself to walk into your world. 'Come, my King! Take your throne in our land. Be present in my heart. Be present in my office. Come into my marriage. Be Lord of my family, my fears, and my doubts.' This is no feeble request; it's a bold appeal for God to occupy every corner of your life."

And it's CHRIST'S OCCUPATION that I am contemplating today.

I'm not that much of a military buff, but I do know that when an army comes in to take over hostile territory they OCCUPY the land. In other words, they station enough troops to maintain an authoritative rule - to govern by force.

Well Christ desires to OCCUPY our lives - all of our lives - but He chooses not to do it by force. He could have. He's certainly powerful enough. But instead, He gives us a choice. In essence He says, 'Let me have all of you. Hold nothing back. Allow me to transform every area of your life to conform to my ways and you will be greatly blessed.'

And although the reward is great, so often we struggle. At least I know I do. For example, I let him OCCUPY my marriage and my family, but not issues with food (see earlier post on the food thing). Oh, I make stabs at surrender in the food area, but I wouldn't say I'm totally surrendered yet. And also there's a few people who have hurt me deeply that I haven't fully surrendered and turned over to God in absolute forgiveness.

You see to allow Christ to fully OCCUPY me, I must allow HIS THOUGHTS, HIS WILL, HIS WORD to dominate all I do. In theory I do this, but when push comes to shove so often I grasp on to my own way and act like a toddler with a coveted toy who's screaming "MINE!"

In my babyish tantrums with whatever I'm not relinquishing I am resisting Christ's occupying all of me.

So for today, my prayer is simply: "Lord not my will, but Yours be done." Today I choose for Christ to occupy all of me.

What about you?