WORDS: Life or Death?

^“Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach;
good talk is as gratifying as a good harvest.

Words kill, words give life;
they're either poison or fruit—you choose.” –Proverbs 18:21 (The Message)

As the writer of Proverbs so aptly put it, words can give you strength or make you sick.  Another translation puts this verse even more succinctly: “there is death and life in the power of the tongue.” – (KJV)

Think about it.

What is your fondest memory? Who was part of that memory? And what kind of words did they speak to you?  

For me, it was my grandfather: a happy, faith-filled man who showered me with unconditional love and affirmation. In the negativity of my childhood, my grandfather was a bright, positive force. His strong hugs, jovial laughs, and words of kindness soothed my spirit. He made me feel good about myself then – and he still does now.

Me & My Grandfather

So naturally, I am drawn to him.  Who wouldn’t be? We all have an innate desire to be loved. And when we have someone who will share their love with us, we thrive.  

Yet there is so much unkindness in the world. So many hurtful words uttered; so much belittling done. So much anger spewed out.  

The news media reports almost daily of somebody somewhere who has been abused or battered by someone that was supposed to love them, care for them; provide for them.

And why is that? Why do people hurt each other?

The short answer is because hurting people hurt others.

The long answer can be found in the following excerpt from www.mentalhelp.com

          Why Do People Abuse?

The first question, "Why do people abuse other people?" has multiple answers. Some abusers learned to abuse from their parents. Their early history consisted of receiving abuse themselves and/or seeing others abused (one parent abusing the other or their sibling, etc.). As a consequence, abuse is the normal condition of life for these people. Such people internalized a particular relationship dynamic, namely the complementary roles of "abuser" and "victim". They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience. The opposite of being a victim is not simply opting out of abuse; it is instead, to be abusive. Given the choice between being the out-of-control victim, or the in-control abuser, some of these people grow up to prefer the role of the abuser. As they become adults, they simply turn this relationship dynamic around and start acting out the "abuser" side of the relationship dynamic they have learned. By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others. That they hurt others in the process may go unregistered or only occur as a dim part of their awareness.

Of course there are many types of abuse with varying degrees of intensity.  But for the purpose of this discussion, let’s consider the words that were spoken into our life growing up – and the words we speak into the lives of others.

Growing Up

Whose words influenced you the most as a child? Think about that person. Was their overall impact on you positive or negative?

For me, it was mostly negative. There were good times and good memories but they are overshadowed by the all too frequent burst of anger and belittlement.

And to this day, some 45 years later, whenever I see this person there is a part of me that holds my breath and hopes that we can have a healthy exchange of words that are sincere and uplifting. And as of this writing, and with the help and grace of Christ, we are getting there.

What Jesus Says

Proverbs 18 told us that our words bring life or death. But the Holy Bible also tells us that we will give an account to God for every word we ever uttered:

But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. (Matthew 12:36)

I like the way The Message translation explains this same full passage:

"You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It's your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard. Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation." (Matthew 12:35-37)

The Words We Speak Now

So according to the scripture, every word we speak will one day be judged by God.

That means…

…Every hurtful word we’ve uttered.

…Every word that built someone up.

…Every word that tore someone down.

…Every word that expressed appreciation.

…And every word that deflated another’s sense of self.

The words we’ve spoken, and the words that have been spoken to us are on epitaphs, in books, and in the recesses of our minds.

They echo back to us from our childhood; and they frame the adults we are today.

So choose your words wisely. Consider the effect they will have now and in the future. Your eternal destiny may depend on it.

Prologue

The pictures featured in this post are of me and my best friend. She gave me the crazy pink duct tape as a fun reminder that I had the power through Christ to shut the devil’s mouth should he try to influence anyone to verbally abuse me.

The tape has served me well, and as you can see, we had quite a bit of fun with it.

I write a lot about the power of words mostly because I know what it feels like to be damaged by them. But also, because since I have been magnificently filled with the Holy Spirit (Acts 2), I have learned to speak words of affirmation to others and seen first-hand how joyously they respond.

Comments

Please tell me about how the words of others have affected your life. Your contribution is what makes this blog thrive!

Saying Less - Praying More

Saying less and praying more can be a powerful tool in navigating  workplace relationships.

Sometimes in my professional career an internal angst rises up in me.

The source of agigitation could be an organizational  decision;

the distributing of responsibility, or just plain personality conflicts.

Whatever the trigger point was; in the past, 
I  expended alot of energy talking about it.

I talked about it with my friends. 

I talked about it with my husband. 

Once, I even talked about it with my pastor. 

And with each retelling the problem grew bigger,
and bigger
and BIGGER.  

Until the problem was so enormous
that even the smallest disagreement 
seemed like a world war.

Has anything like that ever happened to you?

You see your manager speaking in hushed tones,
and your imagination whirs wondering if you might be in trouble.

Paranoia? 

Perhaps.   

But in today's volatile economy,
with job loss so rampant,
fear sets in.  

Your heart flutters.

Your palms sweat.

And before you know it you've
 convinced yourself that castastrophe awaits.

Ridiculous right? 

Especially so when the whole thing turns out to be nothing.  

This type of scenario has happened
to me more times thatI care to share.

I have learned that if we are not careful,
our imagination and overactive mouth, can turn  

a small and usually incorrect presumption
into an emotional minefield.

And when that happens, the enemy of our soul
does the happy dance because that was what he was
trying to accomplish in us which was why he planted the
seed of worry or fear or doubt in us to begin with.

I wonder if that's the kind of presumptous sins that the
Psalmist was talking about in Psalm 19:13 that says:

"Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins;
let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright,
and I shall be innocent from the great transgression."

Maybe we would be able to say less and pray more if
 we should started praying that prayer more often.  

"God, help me not to presume anything.
Teach me to look to YOU the author
and finisher of my faith. To rest in the
comfort that your promises are yea and Amen
and that you will always watch over me
and go before me in any and all of my life situations."

I have learned from my own hard experiences,
that praying more and saying less brings much
more peace, joy and contentment in my life.

What about you?

How do you handle things when life's presumptions come
crashing down on your imagination?

Again, the Holy Bible equips us with
an appropiateresponse to the wild ruminating
we are sometimes prone to:

"Casting down imaginations,
and every high thing that exalteth
itself against the knowledge of God, and
bringing into captivity every thought
 to the obedience of Christ;"
(2 Corinthians 10:5)

I particularly like the way The Message translation
explains the meaning of the above verse:

"The world is unprincipled.
It's dog-eat-dog out there!
The world doesn't fight fair.
 But we don't live or fight our battles that way
—never have and never will.
The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation,
but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture.
We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies,
tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God,
fitting every loose thought and emotion and
impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.
Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground
 of every obstruction and building
 lives of obedience into maturity."

What are your 'go to' scriptures when
life's imaginations
threaten to dominate your mind?

Every Idle Word

Did you say anything yesterday that you wish you hadn't?

Have your words gotten you in trouble?

Do you sometimes speak before you think?

Me too.

Oh boy, oh boy... me too.

Jesus often deals with me in themes and lately He's been telling me to shut my mouth.

To be still.

To hold my peace.

To not push my way or my opinion into a conversation.

To pay attention to every idle word I speak.

"A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.


For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned." (Matthew 12:35-37)

Wow.

That's a pretty strong passage of scripture.


But one of the things I appreciate the most about living every day with Jesus is how He goes out of His way to speak to me.

To help me grow.

To teach me a better way.

To warn me before I get myself in a big mess.

Isn't that just like a loving parent?

They nudge.

They admonish.

They warn.

And then they wait patiently while we stumble and struggle to embrace the truths that they've known all along.

And that is exactly what Jesus does.

He gently nudges us to grow in His graces.

Since I've been really paying attention to every idle word I speak it is amazing how much less I have to say.

In every day conversations, I am listening much more and praying silently for Jesus to "set a guard over my mouth" and prompt me to contribute to what's being said only when He wants me to.

There was a priest named Brother Lawrence who wrote a book called  The Practice of the  Presence of God" who wrote about this.

Lawrence said: "The time of business does not with me differ from the time of prayer, and in the noise and clatter of my kitchen, while several persons are at the same time calling for different things, I possess God in a great tranquility as if I were upon my knees at the blessed sacrament."

And others said of Lawrence: "Wherever he was, the Light was there; wherever he walked was hallowed ground. He showed us how, at any moment and in any circumstance, the sould that seeks God may find Him, and practice the presence of God."

Later in the book Lawrence talks about every idle word and speaking only when led of God to do so.

I am no where near the place in my spiritual growth where I'm only speaking when God says to, but I am much more aware of what I say and am learning to pray much before reacting when I'm frustrated.

And what about you my friend?

What idle words hang you up the most?

What seems easy or hard about this endeavor?

Join the conversation and leave a comment. :)